To The New Year!

Me and DP

Me and DP

This bottle here…. this is no typical 1990 bottle of Moët & Chandon Champagne Cuvée Dom Pérignon.  The value of this bottle went far beyond the lengthy reviews and the name on the label.

It was symbol of a lifestyle I challenge my children to steer clear from and, instead, remain focused on their goals.  Me? A bad girl? No… I was a typical good girl who fell for a bad boy.  His “boss” gave us this bottle as a gift to celebrate the birth of our first-born son. In short, to get away from his “bad boy ways” we moved to sunny Florida.  And since, it has been resting cozy in a tightly sealed box at the top of my kitchen cupboard, it was never intended to be consumed.

But this post is not about that gloom-and-doom story.  It’s about this bottle.

Well, being that we had such a challenging year, I decided that we should finally open this bottle.  Our little group of friends got together for dinner and my contribution… Dom Pérignon, of course! The hour leading up to dinner, my mind sort of wandered..  Fleeting thoughts of anticipation.  Will it be good? Will I be amazed?

We shared our dinner stories and laughs as usual and then the time came to pop open the bottle!  They asked me who gave me the bottle, I explained my past a little and that it was time to let it go.. We toasted: To our Friends…. To the New Year… To a Birthday…. and To Letting Go of the Past!

They let me have the first swig…  I swirled it, tried to capture any fragrances, and took a little sip. Folks, my jaws hurt.  I took another sip, tried to swirl it around my tongue a little, my tastebuds complained.  My friends tasted and we agreed, we were not ready for the “dom”!

But one thing I can say, my past is FINALLY and COMPLETELY in the past.  And with no expectation at all, I am excited and looking forward to the future year and all of its new stories!

Happy New Year to All!!

My Desire

Well, we are coming to the final few weeks of a splendid break from “trying”.  Our break started in September, just as we planned to start our first round of Natural IVF.  The decision to take a break was not easy, as our (or MY) focus through the year has been on baby.  You name it, we tried it: different positions, every-other-day sex during ovulation, IUI, shots, pills, acupuncture, Chinese herbal tea, deep massage, “relaxing”…… You Name It!  And, no, not even the “break” produced the little miracle we had hoped for!  To tell you the truth, I quietly welcomed the intermission and since then I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on our situation.

Through this blog, I’ve “met” quite a few dears who have been through the in’s and out’s of infertility.  I’ve read about some beautiful miracles as well! But then there are a few of us who know the pain, the heartache, the fear, and the cringes we hold within our being to look happy and keep that persona others knew before our baby-trying days.  And though the new year is just around the corner, I can’t help but be a little hesitant to put myself through that again.

I am on the fence.

Oh, my desire to embrace one little miracle, who might possibly have all of my husband’s wonderful qualities and not have all my crazy quirks.  That desire is as great as it has been.. and if I allow it, even for one bit, it will be as overwhelming as if we never stopped trying.

Where do we go from here?

I have heard that wise person knows how to say “I don’t know”.  I don’t know.  All I can say is I am a Christian… and I hold some verses in my heart.  For others, it may be the desire itself, or the financial capability, etc.  For me, it’s a few stories and words of encouragement from a book written a couple thousand years ago…I can say that this is all I have to hold on to at this point.. and if not for my faith, I would definitely give up!

Holidays and the Sports Fanatic’s Wife

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I am a Sports Fanatic’s wife.  No, he doesn’t paint his face and scream at opponents’ fans as they pass us in the stands.  But he wakes up and goes to sleep to the lullaby horns of Sports Center on ESPN.  One day, he frantically looked through the house for a “Let’s Go Bucs” light that flashes like a stop-light because “WE need it so the Bucs will win.”  Most recently, I watched the start of a game in which I left to run errands as they were leading 10-0 and upon my return they were down by two touchdowns… as soon as I sat down they made a touchdown and my husband would not let me leave the couch until the last second of the game because “the Bucs played better when I was watching them.”   They did end up winning that game, by the way 😉

Now, I’m not one to complain.  I enjoy watching the games myself.  Having a teenage football player of my own, I am known to yell and jump a little when the games get interesting.

Another thing about this guy is that he needs a little nudge to get into the holiday spirit.

So this, my friends, is how I got my husband to pose with me and Santa for one Christmas picture:

Our Picture With Santa

Our Picture With Santa

Notice, Santa must be a Bucs fan too.

We also have a tradition in which we each put up one ornament every day from the day after Thanksgiving until the tree is fully decorated… hubby’s first ornament, can you see it?  You may have to squint…

Our Tree 2012

The good thing is that while football is an integral part of our family-life, we have learned to incorporate it into the holidays, which I SO love!

Now, excuse me as I see him turn on the “let’s go Bucs” light and I am now needed to watch this game so they can win.

On a side-note: GO SEAHAWKS!!!!! They just won in over-time, they are my home team, after all. 🙂