Facts of Life

Well, it’s 3:52am and I’m wide awake. Despite the long day ahead. Tomorrow we will be celebrating my younger son’s 14th birthday. Such a joyous occasion which I am very excited for, yet I lay in bed counting expenses in my head. How am I going to pay for it all? Don’t get me wrong, my salary is decent and I don’t spend extravegantly, but circumstances cause me to pinch a little bit, I mean a LOT more nowadays.

So, I lay in bed and calculate… literally… cake, food, drinks, games.. it adds up very quickly… now what can I eliminate? Not much.

So, naturally one’s mind would wander in the dark of night, with spouse peacefully sleeping away.  Did my parents deliberate as us 3 sisters grew up? When children are young you want to give them the world at their fingertips. But as they get older, you want to give them the future you never had.

So for now I’ll try to close my eyes and try to stop counting dollars and start counting sheep. Wishing my baby boy a very happy birthday and a much brighter future!

Pay Day!!

That’s right, it’s Pay Day, the day we all wait for in the Working World, time to have fun!  Well, unless you have fertility meds to pay for, doctor bills, counseling appointments…..
Speaking of counseling appointments, I had my first appointment today.  I decided I was at the very limit before I started packing my bags and living off the trees in the forests of Indonesia.  It turned out as I was speaking with my nurse at the fertility clinic, we found out my new counselor is her very best friend.  Hmmmm… small world!  As I walked, in she had a clipboard set out for me to fill out: Insurance Info, Contact Info…etc.  I sat there for a good 10 minutes, waiting, then thinking, does this counselor know about me already?  How long I’ve been going through treatment?  Does she know I call the fertility clinic almost every other day like a maniac following up on this lab test, asking about that result, making an appointment for yet another ovary check.  Or am I (hopefully) a blank slate?

She finally came out to greet me.  She seemed like a fun person, she said the first appointment would be an ‘assessment’ to see what I needed.  So I slowly told her my issues with infertility, with having teenage boys.. and then for some reason it all started pouring out! Next thing I knew I had the kleenex box in one hand, pile of tissue in the other, what happened??  I had no idea all of this mess was inside of me.  After all, I thought I was the fun one! Bubbly, happy, problem-solver that I was… right?  Well, I have another appointment set up in a couple weeks, we shall see…

As for pay day… yeah, that was just a ploy to get us all excited, but we all know where that money was gone before it came into my account… hey there’s always the Power Ball!