Stress (IVF)

Today is 3dp5dt (3 Days Past 5 Day Transfer – to further detail, we transferred (2) previously-frozen 5-day-old embryos into my uterus 3 days ago).  Phew…. my oh my, how the TTC (Trying To Conceive) World can be so complicated!

The first couple days I tried to stay as low-key as possible, laying in bed most of the day on Thursday (Day of Transfer)

The second day, my son and I went to the grocery store to pick up some snacks and Redbox movies.  I took advantage of the motorized shopping cart.. you know, the little cart that you can ride in?  Positives: Got me around the store without much effort & that baby can make a sharp U-ey at any given time!  Negatives: You must tolerate the VERY loud beeping noise when reversing & it is really super slow.

Yesterday, my son had an event we committed to months ago which was 45 minutes away, so I drove him there.  Spent some time sitting at the mall, thinking I’d have to turn around and get him but ended up going back home to lay in bed.

Anyway, here are my symptoms, yesterday I had major cramping like I was about to have my period… stat!  The cramping went all through the front of my lower abdomen to my lower back.  This morning, I just felt “blahh” like I might have a cold, and I am IRRITATED with everyone.  Which leads me to the topic of my post… Stress.

Little did we know how much stress-level comes into play upon post-transfer.  After all, our doctor looked my husband in the eye during our pre-op appointment and said, “she is not to lift a finger” & “treat her like a princess”  But, since Thursday it has been nothing but easy asking him so much as to give me a glass of water.  He sighs and complains, and argues when I get up to do it myself.  Yet, it wouldn’t happen if I waited.  So, the stress level is HIGH. Super-High – especially having to drive my son to his event without any offer from my husband – and his refusal to come along, when asked. 

So, HOW do I remain stress-free?  These 5 days post-transfer are truly critical to the success of this transfer and I am hitting walls in getting the support I need. 

This isn’t a question of if he wants the baby…. I know he does.  After all, last year, I absolutely resolved to the idea that we wouldn’t have children.  But he pushed and talked so much about it that I gave in and asked him to look me in the eye and tell me if he wanted to go through the IVF process.  Well, you know the answer (because I am here today).  But, the past few days he has been nothing but distant and unsupportive.

Well, 9 more days till test day.  Hoping it will get better, but in the meantime, I’ll try find ways to stay stress-free on my own.





Live In The Present

I drive my son to school at 6:30am every morning.. why does high school have to start so early??  On a typical morning, I get up about 5:30, eyes half-closed, take a quick shower, attempt to make decent-tasting coffee and my son comes downstairs to meet me.. OR.. I realize he’s still asleep and I yell at him to wake up, hurry up, brush his teeth while he’s upset that his alarm clock “didn’t work”. He’s throwing clothes all over the place, I’m yelling at him to stop making a mess… We are both NOT morning people.

This morning surprisingly went pretty smoothly, and on the way to school, we had a conversation about his future (he’s a freshman).  I asked, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and he said, “I wanted to be an air pilot but I don’t know.  I’ve learned to stop wanting to grow up so fast.”  A little taken aback, I said, “what do you mean?” and he replied, “I want to live in the present because the present will become the past and you can’t change the past.”  YES, I kid you not, this came out of my 15-year-old’s mouth at 6:50am.

The Persistence of Memory – Salvador Dali
Though I’m not an Art Major,… that little branch holding that clock is about to break off!

So in thinking about this, I’m asking myself how I have lived 2012?  I’ve been so stressed about about trying to make a baby, my older children leaving, my finances, now my husband’s job… and I have not lived in the present.  I’ve lived in a muck, and I can’t change that.  I want to do as my child has recommended: Live in the Present